I didn't have an exciting college experience, its been really messy and confusing and ultimately a really lonely experience, but through it all I've managed to excel everywhere I've studied. I deserve to say that at least. I think knowing that this lagging gen ed course is going to give my GPA a nosedive is really fucking with me. I don't care, a B won't do, and I know that makes me sound ridiculous, but it's been my one goal throughout these past 4 years; prove to yourself that you can get A's despite your mental barriers.
This is all me. I can't blame or rely on any other factors. I'm hovering. This is what happens when I face a truth: maybe I really am not smart.